On Gratitude

Currently Listening To: Brooke Fraser
About To: pick up my friend Taylor at the airport and head to her house for Thanksgiving! Midnight roadtrip, here we come.

Step 1: read this post by Kate Elizabeth Conner.

In case you didn't read it, let me summarize it for you. What Kate puts forth about gratitude is that "our being “touched” is not the highest purpose of gratitude.  The higher purpose is to be moved." There is a progression that takes place: gratitude brings perspective, which brings awe, which brings contentment - but this is not the end. Contentment should then bring conviction; conviction, action. "The logical extreme then, the inevitable end of gratitude, is a life marked by consistent, intentional, extravagant generosity."

I love this. And I am convicted.

It brings to mind the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, which I read this summer. "We only enter into the full life if our faith gives thanks," she says. "Thanksgiving is the manifestation of our Yes! to his grace." Also: "What precedes the miracle is thanksgiving, eucharisteo, and it is a Greek word with a hard meaning that is harder yet to live. Do I really want to take up this word?" This book traces the difficult, glorious pursuit of living it out.

And finally, another thought that intertwines well with this train of thought, by Karl Barth: "Grace and gratitude belong together like heaven and earth. Grace evokes gratitude like the voice an echo. Gratitude follows grace as thunder follows lightening."

I wish I had a concise way to wrap all these thoughts together, to weave them into a polished paragraph to finish out this post that leaves you inspired, but I don't. These are just the pieces that have been working their way through my mind these past few days and that are still sinking into my heart. And I hope they work their way into yours, too.

[image source]

Thought of the Day

Currently Listening To: this Bon Iver remix. Love it.

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too  
strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, 
fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when 
infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child 
who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum 
because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of 
a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” 

- C.S. Lewis

[via Love Does]

[image via le petit bijou]

The Bones, They Sing For Joy

Some words and paragraphs to ponder, written by Ann Voskamp in the book One Thousand Gifts:

"In the moment of singing that one line, dedicating the work as thanks to Him, 

something - the miracle- happens, and every time. When service is unto people,

 the bones can grow weary, the frustration deep. Because, agrees Dorothy Sayers,  

"whenever man is made the centre of things, he becomes the storm-centre of 

trouble.The moment you think of serving people, you begin to have the notion 

that other people owe you something for your pains...You will begin to 

bargain for reward, to angle for applause."

When the laundry is for the dozen arms of children or the dozen legs, it's true, 

I think I'm due some appreciation. So comes a storm of trouble and lightning strikes 

joy. But when Christ is at the center, when dishes, laundry, work is my song of 

thanks to Him, joy rains. Passionately serving Christ alone makes us the loving servant

 to all. When the eyes of the heart focus on God, and the hands on always washing 

feet of Jesus alone - the bones, they sing for joy and the work returns to its 

purest state: eucharisteo. The work becomes worship, a liturgy of thankfulness.

"The work we do is only our love for Jesus in action," write Mother Teresa. 

"If we pray the work...if we do it to Jesus, if we do it for Jesus, if we do it 

with Jesus...that's what make us content."

[image via Whimsicalities]

Some Disorganized Thoughts

Currently Listening To: Knee Deep, Zac Brown Band

Here are some disorganized thoughts about week one on the job in Colorado (for more details about what I'm doing here, read this), to tide you over until I can give you some more organized thoughts:

 

- These are great kids that I get to work with. Twenty-six of them, at that. And they make me laugh with the things they say. (Luke, age 5, for example, first said that he had 'Blue Moon' ice cream last night (questionable?), and then that it tasted "like Superman, but a little bit blueberry.")

- My TCK (Third Culture Kid) upbringing is a big deal in my life, and I feel valued for it here. I've mentioned before that sometimes I feel like I compartmentalize that part of my life. Today, though, I got to be part of a talk about TCKs in general to all XTrack participants, and then be on a panel to answer their questions and share my experiences. And it was really neat.

- I have two great team-mates and basically an adopted family. We laugh a lot and I couldn't ask for a better team to work with.

- 8am - 3pm is a long time to spend with a group of kids. I'm kind of glad that I'm ultimately teaching secondary, where I'll get to rotate through different classes of kids. And I have huge respect for all those elementary teachers, who work with the same group of kids all. day. long.

- Our teen program is middle and high school, and this year our "teens" are majority eleven-year-olds going in to sixth grade. As my student teaching placement for the Fall is in a sixth grade classroom, this has been amusingly eye-opening in terms of the age/maturity level of the kids I'll have in the Fall. And I can't wait.

- Summertime, being 21 and carefree, and it only costing $5 is plenty of reason to get a purple feather extension in my hair. Am I right?

- I love that I get a teaching experience like this -- one where we pray at the beginning of each day and are encouraged to love on and build relationships with each of the kids -- to pave the way for all my future teaching experiences.

 

 

This Wide-Open, Spacious Life

Currently: at the public library, because my new apartment doesn't have internet yet. (p.s. any suggestions for good summer reading, anyone?)

Ever since I first stumbled across Katie Davis’s blog a few years ago, I have been in awe of this girl who, though just one year older than me, lives in Uganda with an adopted family of fourteen girls, and runs and sponsorship and feeding program for two hundred more kids. Seriously. This past week I read her book Kisses From Katie, and through it felt like I learned a lot and was convicted of a lot. “I believe there is only one truly courageous thing we can do with our lives: to love unconditionally. Absolutely, with all of ourselves, so much that it hurts and then more,” (p.253) says Katie, and she wholly lives it, too – always giving the glory to God.

One part that really stuck out to me, however, was a passage she referenced from 2 Corinthians 6, but she included it in the Message paraphrase:

“People are watching us as we stay at our post, alertly, unswervingly…

in hard times, tough times, bad times; when we’re beaten up, jailed, and mobbed; working hard, working late, working without eating; with pure heart, clear head, 

steady hand; with gentleness, holiness, and honest love; when we’re telling the truth 

and when God’s showing his power; when we’re doing our best setting things right; 

when we’re praised, and when we’re blamed; slandered, and honored; 

true to our word, though distrusted; ignored by the world, but recognized by God;

 terrifically alive, though rumored to be dead; beaten within an inch of our lives, 

but refusing t die; immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; 

living on handouts, yet enriching many; having nothing, having it all. 

Dear, dear Corinthians, I can’t tell you how much I long 

for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. 

We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel 

comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, 

but you’re living them in a small way. 

I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. 

Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively!”

That last part, that last sentence, seizes my heart and makes me want nothing less than that – than a life wide open and spilling out love, not closed up and small. Don’t you agree?

[image via The Journey]

Venturing on Wilder Seas

At the end of the school year, Agape ends with letting fourth years (us!) share 'words of wisdom.' Last night, Liz (my housemate of three years, roommate of one year, friend since week one of college and fellow missionary kid) spoke, and she shared this prayer with us, written by Sir Francis Drake in 1577. It's pretty powerful, and not to mention nautical, so I wanted to share it with y'all!

 

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when
with the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wilder seas
Where storms will show Your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.

We ask you to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push back the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.

This we ask in the name of our Captain,
Who is Jesus Christ.

 - Sir Francis Drake 

[image 1 | image 2]

The Principle of Graveyards

I’m taking a class on Faulkner and the Bible. Most of the time, I’m confused. Faulkner is very confusing, and connections between Faulkner and the Bible are also very confusing. But my professor is amazingly brilliant, and even though I’m not always completely following what he’s saying, I write it all down because oftentimes he’ll flippantly throw out deep and poetic sentences that I like to capture in their entirety.*

The week before last we read Jeremiah and this past week we read Matthew and Mark, looking at how Jesus is reconstituting Israel, and how he preserves his sinlessness for the people of Israel by standing in solidarity with sin**.  We talked about how the resurrection was not merely a resuscitation but a resurgence. And in the middle of that train of thought, Professor Wilson casually throws this sentence out there:

“Resurgence is forward motion into new life;
the whole principle of graveyards contradicted and canceled.”

What a wondrous way to say that, and what a glorious truth! I love that Professor Wilson is telling us the gospel in unconventional ways in this class, and I love that this thought can guide my thinking this Holy Week.

I know we still have Maundy Thursday and Good Friday and a lot of solemn and momentous things to stop and remember this weekend, but I love that, even so, we already know how it ends. We already know that there is Resurrection – resurgence! –  and that the whole principle of graveyards is contradicted and cancelled. And we get to celebrate that this Sunday!

Happy Holy Week, everyone.

*Well, I also write it down because I have to take notes (or doodle or something) to stay focused, and because it is class, after all, so notes are good…

**I copied this word-for-word from my notebook. It’s another one of those things that I wrote down because it sounds poetic and deep.

[image via We Heart It]

Thought Of The Day

Currently Listening To: The Outsiders, NEEDTOBREATHE.

My Housemate: is so talented.

 

(from 1 Corninthians 13, the Message.) (Source: Typographic Verses)

Happy Friday! So glad it's the weekend :]

Hey Girl Hey

Currently Watching: The Prince of Egypt

This weekend, we had our Kaleh Retreat. Recently, I've been really blown away by community -- how important it is, how I'm part of such a wonderful one, how I can love all these people better because of the way they love me -- and Kaleh Retreat is just such a glorious way to be with, learn from and encourage all the girls in Agape.

I mean, just look at all these beautiful people I got to spend my Friday night with:

 

I loved answering their questions, painting my nails with them, and sleeping on a church floor (or chairs, actually) with them. I'm beyond grateful for this community I've been able to be a part of here in college!

P.S. Last year.

Sabbath

Currently Listening To: Death in His Grave, John MacMillan

If You Want to Laugh: watch this. (Especially if you like sloths.)

Agape, my Christian fellowship, has been doing some really cool things recently. Firstly, as of just last semester, we don't have staff and are entirely student-led -- but it has been crazy encouraging to see our group thrive nonetheless, to be reminded that it was never a surprise to God that this would be our situation, and to see Him come through so amazingly.

This past week, our large group ended with something different. Everyone had received an envelope on their way in, and in each envelope was a challenge -- something that would not be easy, but that is Biblical. During large group, we took ten minutes to pray individually about whether or not to even open the envelope, because in doing so we were committed to do whatever that challenge was.

My challenge is to take a Sabbath every week for the rest of the semester.

The neat thing is, this is something my housemates and I had already talked about wanting to start doing. So when I read the challenge, I was like, alright. I guess this is something that really is important, that I really need to do.

So here we are. The thing is, I don't really know how to take a Sabbath. I know it's a day of rest, and I know that Isaiah says this about it:

 “Keep the Sabbath day holy.
      Don’t pursue your own interests on that day,
   but enjoy the Sabbath
      and speak of it with delight as the LORD’s holy day.
   Honor the Sabbath in everything you do on that day,
      and don’t follow your own desires or talk idly.
  Then the LORD will be your delight.
      I will give you great honor
   and satisfy you with the inheritance I promised to your ancestor Jacob.
      I, the LORD, have spoken!”

[Isaiah 58:13-14]

 ...but what does that look like practically, on a given Sunday? I'd love your input or opinions, if you have any. Have any of you committed to taking a regular Sabbath before? What did it look like?

[image via Typographic Verses]

Blue Like Jazz

Currently Reading: TIME magazine (I asked my dad why we don’t have TIME and Newsweek laying around, like we always did. He said he reads it all online now. I said lame. (Because, you see, I really like magazines.) So he came home today with one of each for me!)

I just finished rereading Blue Like Jazz. At first, I was rushing through it – until I remembered how much I love it. I had forgotten just how good Don Miller is at capturing vulnerability and truth and humanity and especially beauty, and all of this entangled in Christian spirituality, and the way his words and stories can grip my heart and resonate deeply  (like this passage, from another of his books that I read last year). And plus he is clever and he just gets it. When I remembered, all of this I tried to slow down to better enjoy it, allowing myself one chapter a day.

Y’all, I would put chapters of his words in here for you to read if that wouldn’t be obnoxious, so I’ll share just a few passages. (Then you should probably go read the whole thing for yourselves.)*

“The magical proposition of the gospel, once free from the clasps of fairy tale, was very adult to me, very gritty like something from Hemingway or Steinbeck, like something with copious amounts of sex and blood. Christian spirituality was not a children’s story. It wasn’t cute or neat. It was mystical and odd and clean, and it was reaching into dirty. There was wonder in it and enchantment.”

“’…to be in a relationship with God is to be loved purely and furiously.’”

 

“'So then you started reading the Bible?’ I asked.

‘Yes. We would eat chocolates and smoke cigarettes and read the Bible, which is the only way to do it, if you ask me. Don, the Bible is so good with chocolate. I always though the Bible was more of a salad thing, you know, but it isn’t. It is a chocolate thing.”’

“The most difficult lie I have ever contended with is this: Life is a story about me.”

“…Wonder is that feeling we get when we let go of our silly answers, our mapped out rules that we want God to follow. I don’t think there is any better worship than wonder.”

“The first generation out of slavery invented jazz music. It is a music birthed out of freedom. And that is the closest thing I know to Christian spirituality. A music birthed out of freedom. Everybody sings their song the way they feel it, everybody closes their eyes and lifts up their hands.”

*If you are in Charlottesville, I can hook you up with a free copy (c/o the House of Pain basement). Just holler.

[image via Whimsicalities]

O Come, O Come

Today I Made: Pecan pie and deviled eggs (for Christmas dinner tomorrow!)

Currently Reading: Water for Elephants, by Sara Gruen

I have spent a good bit of the past few months in the Old Testament. Isaiah, especially, is what I keep coming back to (the hopeful bits, at least). And, recently, listening more closely to carols, I have been struck by the words of one in particular: “O Come, O Come Emmanuel.” It is haunting and mournful and it is the cry of Isaiah, the prophets, the Israelites, all wrapped up into verses that we somehow now sing without thinking. The waiting, the longing, the people far from home and enslaved, crying out: “Come, Emmanuel! And ransom captive Israel that mourns in lonely exile here…” It is not festive or merry, but a reminder of our need, our longing, and calling out to the Rod of Jesse, the Desire of Nations, the only one who can do something about it.

But then the refrain: Rejoice! Rejoice! Because (can it be?) Emmanuel – God with us. God with us! – shall come to thee, O Israel.

Another thing I’ve been reminded of a lot this semester: ‘“My thoughts are not like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you can imagine.”’ (Isaiah 55:8) Well, obviously. Because how can the God who created the universe, time, each of us, be somehow bound up into skin, lungs and veins, fingernails? How can a glorious God make his entrance into earth so small, at first only interrupting the lives of just a few ordinary, scared people? How can he be made so lowly – becoming a baby, laid in a manger, greeted only by shepherds?

All I am left with is that, incomprehensible as it might be to me, God responds. He is faithful, to the Israelites mourning in lonely exile, to the very same captive cries of our own souls today.

So haste, haste, to bring him laud,

The babe, the son of Mary.

Isaiah Is My Jam.

 
Has the Lord ever needed anyone's advice?

Does he need instruction about what is good?

Did someone teach him what is right or show him the path of justice?

Look up to the heavens.

Who created all the stars?

He brings them out like an army, one after another,

Calling each by its name.

Because of his great power and incomparable strength,

Not a single one is missing.

O Jacob, how can you say that the Lord does not see your troubles?
O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?

Have you never heard?
Have you never understood?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

The Creator of all the earth.

He never grows weak or weary.

No one can measure the depths of his understanding.

Says the Lord,
"Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.

I have called you by name; you are mine.

When you go through deep waters,

I will be with you.

When you go through rivers of difficulty,

you will not drown.

Others were given in exchange for you

I traded their lives for yours

Because you are precious to me.

You are honored, and I love you.

You have been chosen to know me, believe in me,

And understand that I alone am God.

There is no other God -- there never has been, and there never will be.

From eternity to eternity I am God.

No one can snatch anyone out of my hand.

No one can undo what I have done.
  
[Isaiah 40:14, 26-28; 43:1-2, 4, 10]
 

[image via We Heart It]

All My Fountains Are In You.

So incredibly grateful for and encouraged by the community I got to enjoy this weekend -- the community that I'm blessed to have a home in all the time. God is so good!

And I'll Be The Poet

"And I'll be the poet who sings your glory - 

and live what I sing every day." 

Psalm 61:8, The Message

I came across this verse in this version the other day and was enchanted by it. It grabbed my heart and spoke to the writer in me, and has stuck with me for the past few days, a confirmation and a conviction. 

It also reminded me of the spoken word poem "I Will Wait For You" by Janette Ikz:

(which I first saw quoted on Miss Amy Pompelia's gchat status, then her blog, then the lovely Sarah Tisdale's blog...so I didn't share it with y'all right away even though I was a little -- okay, a lot -- obsessed. But it is so worth sharing, so enjoy it now!)

"And you will know me and you will find me 

where the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth, 

with the hospitality of Lydia as aligned with the submission of Mary, 

which is englufed in the tears of a praying Hannah. 

I will be the one drenched in Proverbs 31 waiting for you."

P.S. Y'all should also heck out "If I Should Have A Daughter" by Sarah Kay. Can I just say how much spoken word poetry intrigues and impresses me? I kind of wish I was talented enough to do that...

Abide With Me; Fast Falls the Eventide

Thou hast not left me, oft as I left Thee.

On to the close, O Lord, abide with me.

Christ The Lord is Risen Today

Why are you looking among the dead for someone who is alive? 

He isn't here! He is risen from the dead! 

(Luke 24:5-6)

Death is swallowed up in victory.

O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?

(1 Corinthians 15:54-55)


Jesus told her, "I am the resurrection and the life. 
Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. 
Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die."
(John 11:25-26)


He is risen!

You Make Beautiful Things

Quote Love: "We were created in such a way that music erupts from us when we are squeezed. Whether it is a violent wringing or love's embrace, song drips out. So sing with all your might. Paint with fury. Write words noisy with color. Dance. Dance until we can see your soul." - from Praise Habit by David Crowder

Vision Dinner 2011 from Chris McKinney on Vimeo.

We just watched this in small group. Isn't this a cool idea? They're called cardboard testimonies (and the awesome thing is, when I searched for this on Youtube*, there were like a bajillion different ones out there).

Then made our own. 


If you made one, what would it say?

*And I didn't find it because it's on Vimeo... p.s. Thanks for the link, Haley!

Soularium

Tonight at small group, Hope and I decided to take a break from the Daniel study we've been working through and try out Soularium instead. Soularium is an evangelism tool used by Campus Crusade for Christ (which is the fellowship I do here at UVA, except we call it Agape) made up of a set of 50 pictures and a series of questions: 

1. Which 3 images would you choose to describe your life right now?
2. Which 3 images represent what you wish were a part of your life right now?
3. Which image would you choose to describe God? (If they say "I'm an atheist" ask: Which image describes that?)
4. Think About your life so far. Which image best describes what you've experienced spiritually?
5. When you think about your own spiritual life or journey, which image best represents what you wish were true?  

The idea is that you go through the questions and choose corresponding pictures, and as you explain why you chose each one, you can figure out where people are at and create opportunities for spiritual discussions. Here's a sweet example of it being used!

We didn't do it as evangelism tonight but did it with each other, which was also kind of incredible -- just getting to see people's perspectives on life and God and stuff in a new way, even after leading them for almost two years now! (Woah.) Of course, it didn't hurt that we were all spread out on a blanket on the living room floor in front of a fire and with pecan shortbread and a plethora of tea options in front of us...

But really, it's a pretty cool thing all around. And I think you should check it out.

[image source. Yes, this is a blog about a trip to my home city Addis Ababa last summer. Yes, my roommate Liz was also on this trip, and this picture just happened to show up when I googled Soularium. Yes, it is an incredibly small world.]

Promises

Currently Listening To: You're Beautiful by Phil Wickham

Come, let us return to the Lord.

He has torn us to pieces;

now he will heal us.

He has injured us;

now he will bandage our wounds.

In just a short time he will restore us,

so that we may live in his presence.

Oh, that we might know the Lord!

Let us press on to know him.

He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn

or the coming of rains in early spring.

Hosea 6:1-3 [NLT]

[image via We Heart It]